I am currently sitting here, dreading to write this blog. Not because there's anything exceptionally hard to tell, but it has been so long since I've written so there's a lot I could say. How do I even choose what to tell you about the past 6 weeks?
Even though it seems like forever ago, I guess I should start with Christmas. While it was weird to not be home for a Kennedy Christmas, it was beautiful to spend it in a different culture. Especially one that reminds me so much about the birth place of Jesus. Ok, there are no stables and it is not nearly as rural or small as Bethlahem, but the population is slightly similar. Think about it--Jesus was born in a freaking stable, among animals, to a petrified 14 year old mom. They were turned away from the inn because there was no space for the son of God, so the next best thing was for Jesus to be born in a feeding trough. You can't get much lower than this, and this is the son of God! He could have been born anywhere, but that is where God chose. God really knew what he was doing. Just because of Jesus' birth, the poor around the world can stand in solidarity with Jesus and not feel so marginalized. Not like I really saw that amidst my neighbors, but the idea and possibility truly is empowering.
It was humbling to spend Chritsmas here, not worrying about gifts but instead fiving and receivign love to/from some amazing people. It was a celebration of life, of family, of the gifts God has given us. Even without my biological family, I was able to spend it with my house family, our neighbor families, and the entire Rostro family. We ate together, sang together, danced together, and just were together. I think it will be impossible for me to come back and celebrate Christmas as before. The value will forever be on the importance of love, hope, light, and the celebration of people, all of which Jesus offers through his birth.
Another exciting thing that happened is Dad and Julie visited! It was strange to me for the two worlds to combine, but beautiful to be able to share my life here with them and comforting to have my actual family here. You'll have to ask them what they thought, but I think they were shocked by the vast poverty, drastically different lifestyle, and particularly by the fact that you can't flush toilet paper (and that there's no running water in all of Duran). I loved being able to introduce them to neighbors, take them to my classes at Nuevo Mundo, go to an after school program in one of Ecuador's poorest neighborhoods and play with some of the worst behaved yet cutest kids ever, and just to spend time with them! We did indulge a little on our trip to Cuenca, a colonial Ecuadorian city, which was a treat to me. Snuggled amongst mountains (which I have been missing), it was good for me to get away for a bit and, even though in a city, to be a teeeny bit more in nature.
Something their visit made me realize, though, is just how hard it will be to go home back to my 'normal' life and leave my life here behind. Right now, I see Ecuador and the life I live as my actual life, and the fact that I am halfway done with this experience (the six month point is February 1st) is really sad to me. Not like I could live here forever--I know I will need to live back in the US eventually--but I just haven't been able to picture life elsewehre. I realize that I still have another six months, which is a long time, but their presence brought me the reality check that this is not my only life and the world is much bigger than here. And, although our lifestyles are so different, each lifestyle has its own good and bad. Neither is right or wrong, but it is all shades of gray.
Those lines only become grayer as I live here. There are so many things I love about living here, and I think there is a lot people stateside could learn from this lifestyle. The simplicity, generosity, hospitality, family orientation, and importance of people are just a few examples. Then again, there are so many huge problems that cannot be romantacized. It is easy to come here and see the joy and happiness that so many people do genuinely possess, but living here, it is easier to see the suffering. The lack of education, teen pregnancies, not being able to receive medical care for potentially curable illnesses and diseases which leads to discomfort and early death, abuse, alcoholism, not knowing how to budget or spend monty which has its own consequences, and a lack of resources to improve the living situation are only some of the problems we see and hear about in ourr neighbors. Yet them again, I am constantly humbled by huge hearts and generaous souls, as well as the way that life seems so much more real here. No hiding, no pretending, just living. Basically, we all have a lot to learn. I feel incredibly privileged that I can experience two different ways of life so wholly.
There's much more going on here as well, including a job transition due to 'summer break,' meaning I do not have classes at Mundo until April. In the meanwhile, I will be tutoring Mundo kids in the morning and working at an after school program in the afternoon, but I will tell you more about that once I get settled in. Life is crazy and busy, and there really has not been a sense of normalcy lately, but I suppose I have to search for a new normal. I am constantly learning, being challenged, and hopefully growing--but also truly enjoying being here. It is tough, and some days are especially trying, but overall I have many more moments of joy than sadness. Now I am about half way done which is hard to believe. I have no idea what to expect out of the last six months, but I hope my relationships will only grow and my love increase.
Until next time,
Paz y amor
