God seems to work in very unexpected ways. We've been using the phrase 'trust in the slow work of God' around our house quite frequently--a quote, of course, from Greg Boyle's Tattoos on the Heart. Sometimes, I've questioned where God is and what His/Her plans are for us, and I just have to trust that God is somehow guiding us.
For instance, remember my awesome community? I was blessed by living with three amazing girls, each who have inspired me in countless way. Yet about a month ago, one of my community mates, Brittany, stopped sleeping. And when I say this, I mean she could only sleep one or two hours a night, nada más. As you can imagine, it would be quite hard to fully function on this little sleep. In my opinion, Britt functioned on a much higher level than I could ever imagine. She still went to work every day, brought joy and energy into the kids' lives, and was a stellar contributor to our community. None of us, including Britt, knew why she wasn't sleeping, and we were all quite frustrated. She tried different methods and attempted a few doctors visits here, none of which gave her more than a Xanex, which did not solve her sleeping problems. So, we unfortunately resorted to the last thing any of us wanted--she went home, for reasons of her own health. We hated watching her so exhausted all of the time, but what can I do but trust that, somewhere in there, God is working? He might have some sort of reason for this happening, of which I cannot even fathom. But trust in the slow work of God, that He has a reason for Britt's coming and going.
Trust in the slow work of God. It's hard to trust in something we're all so sad about, especially when I feel guilty that I didn't do everything I could have to help her here. Trust in the slow work, that she will find her reason for being home and understand why this happened. Trust in the slow work, that God will help our community--now just me, Jules, and Liz--bond, unite, and find infinite love and strength from each other.
Trusting in God's slow work in all aspects of my life--that's what I'm trying to do. That I trust that God will give me the tools needed to be the best community mate possible, to be an effective teacher, to be present to those around me. These things are tough, but I need to trust that God has me here, in my house, teaching at Nuevo Mundo, for a reason.
There have been a lot of very humbling times, times I can only say poco a poco and hope that God will work in me. This includes learning how to be a good teacher, which is quite difficult without any sort of training, or speaking Spanish, which can sometimes be good but usually frustrating. However, poco a poco. Poco a poco I'm learning to be with my neighbors and not worry about needing to say or do anything. I can instead just join them in their relaxed way of life and be. Something that helped with this was going to Pedro Carbo last weekend, a town about an hour and a half away. I went with Molly, another Rostro volunteer, and a family from her neighborhood that is just incredible. There, we didn't really do much. We spent Saturday and Sunday just sitting, relaxing, talking, being. This was weird for us, since we're both used to doing things, but it helped me to understand that this is Ecuador. (Of course, when we wanted to do nothing but sleep, there was dancing until 6:30 in the morning, but asi es la vida. We ended up sleeping what felt like in the middle of a discoteca since music was blaring every hour we slept, but eso es.) When I go to someone's house, I don't have to be entertaining, I can just join in their usual day and occasionally be a new voice. It's nice to know that I don't always need to do, but instead trust that God is slowly working in me.
So, slow work--theme of my life recently. God works in such mysterious ways, and ways that usually aren't obvious. But I already trust that I'm supposed to be here, and therefore need to trust, even when it involves a leap of faith, that God is doing exactly what He wants to be doing in us every moment of the day.
