Christmastime in Ecuador

And what does that mean?


It just gets hotter!!! Unfortunately, with the end of December begins the rainy season. Which means the heat and bugs are coming, too! So far, we just have the heat from those three elements (thankfully), but the other ones will be coming soon.


But it also means that I get to experience a different type of holiday season. No snow, not much Christmas music (considering our TV broke and that's our only form of playing the one Christmas CD we have), our Christmas tree is about 10 inches tall...but that's ok, I get to try to discover the pure joy that comes this time of year.


As a house, we have been very focused on Advent.  How can we prepare our hearts to better accept Christ? What can we do to try to have a better relationship with God? How can we light our inner candles of peace and joy? How can we then spread that to help light others' candles? Personally, I have been trying to work on my focus (since I cannot do that), as well as recapturing my sense of joy, play, wonder. To allow myself to be awed by God's presence, to truly be humbled in front of God's greatness and goodness. And yes, those are two different things. For some reason, it has been hard for me to really be joyful in the childlike, full of wonder sense, and I think that could greatly help my relationship with God.


One little moment that filled me with a lot of joy was our Christmas party. Every year, Rostro has a party for its volunteers and employees, and each house gets to provide entertainment. We put on some dances/songs for everyone, and you should watch!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=samptYm8-6k

In this blog, I also want to mention something that I would like for Christmas. Now since I am here in Ecuador, I don't expect or want any gifts. But if you are someone who normally gives me a gift and/or would like to get something for me this Christmas, I am going to give you 3 options.

1. Donate to Rostro de Cristo. Obviously, this is the program I am here through, and they always could use more money to help us volunteers, to aid the retreat groups, the employees, basically everything. I know they would greatly appreciate a Christmas donation.
• http://rostrodecristo.org/give/index.html
2. Donate to Fundación Nuevo Mundo. This is where I work, and although there is the morning school to help pay, it does not nearly cover the costs of the afternoon school, the 2 day cares, and the clinic. Since I work here, obviously it is very near and dear to my heart. It is a great place that truly helps kids have a brighter future among the poverty here in Duran.
• http://www.nuevomundo.org.ec/en/fnmen.htm
• http://www.nuevomundo.k12.ec/
• http://www.nuevomundo.org.ec/en/form.htm
3. Donate to Damien House. No, I do not work here, but my housemate does and it is one of Rostro's oldest partner foundations. It is a home open to help people with Hansen's disease, more commonly called leprosy. This is a truly unique home, opened by Sister Annie, a nun from the US who came to Ecua to start a preschool but instead found her calling through this. Hundreds of people have been helped and are being helped by the Damien House, whether through inpatient or outpatient care. Because of the stigma of this disease, many have been abandoned by families and would have no home were it not for Damien. However, they are always struggling with money and living on a month-to-month basis. God has always provided, but it does not ease the fears that this may have to close soon, which would put people without homes and care. I know that they would truly appreciate your donation.
• http://thedamienhouse.org/index.html

I hope you are all having a wonderful Christmas season, wherever it may find you. May your advent candles be burning brightly and the peace and joy of the Lord be with you.

Until next time,

Paz y amor

Success?

Hello, readers! Sorry it has been so long since my last post--I know you've been anxiously awaiting my next one. Wait no more, for here is (finally) is!

I was hoping to write a post after retreat, then after simplicity week, and now...it's 2 weeks after that! Obviously, a lot has happened, but I'll try to stick with one main theme. This time, I'll focus on the theme of success (as the title clearly states). I've been here about four months now, and what has come of it? Are there any success I can share with the states to make you feel like what I'm doing here is truly useful?

The short answer is no. Yet of course, it's much more complex than that. Maybe if I had chosen a program where I'd be building houses or helping people medically, I could point and say "Look, I built that" or "I fixed her." But the problems I face every day are so much deeper than what can be quickly 'fixed' and pointed at. I have the unique and blessed opportunity to spend real time with people, allowing me to get to know some of their sufferings as well as their joys. The problems that I see here amidst such drastic poverty cannot be fixed overnight, or even in a year, and especially not by me.

So, you may ask, what am I actually doing here? When I told you I was doing a year of service, you probably imagined me improving lives. And who's to say I'm not? I'm definitely not creating any great 'success' stories, neither teaching nor in my barrio, but maybe through my presence, I am opening people up to a feeling of love they never even knew they deserved before.

One recent example of me 'failing' in every conventional sense involves a child named Samuel--a 7 year old that I kind of want to kidnap to the US (of course that's not ACTUALLY going to happen, but it hasn't stopped me from thinking about it!). He grew up with his mom and stepdad in a house where he was neglected--without love, support, or even food. Recently, he moved in with his dad and stepmom, which while is not ideal, is 100 times better than before. Unfortunately, he has had trouble learning. This is definitely in part, if not totally, due to his traumatic past and lack of education, but he also appears to possibly have a learning disability. Being the helper that I am, I went to Pat, my boss at Nuevo Mundo, to see if she knew anyone who could test him for a disability. She graciously offered  the psychologists at Mundo, free of charge, to test him to see if there is a problem. Maybe this will point to why Samuel is having a hard time learning and will get his stepmom to be a bit easier on him while he struggles to spell and read.

Sadly, for reasons far beyond my control and I do not feel comfortable sharing here, the psychologists couldn't finish the testing. There was too much emotional and even legal baggage which they were not equipped to handle on a case that was a favor to me. Naturally, I was devastated. I worked so hard only to almost get in trouble for trying to help. Now I know Samuel needs a real psychologiest, but unfortunately they cannot afford one, so the learning and emotional problems remain as were.

Not the conventional definition of success, right? And in fact, it is pretty devastating. Yet I am comforted by Mother Teresa's words that, "We are not called to be successful, but faithful." And in this case, I believe I was faithful and I am committed to continue to be faithful to Samuel, no matter what that may entail. I am disheartened and frustrated by the outcome of the situation, but I suppose it is slowly helping me appreciate these words a bit more.

Fr. Greg Boyle (I can't go a blog without him!) expands on this quote by reflecting, "Salivating for success keeps you from being faithful, keeps you from truly seeing whover's sitting in front of you. Embracing a strategy and an approach you can believe in is sometimes the best you can do on any given day. If you surrender your need for results and outcomes, success becomes God's business. I find it hard enough to just be faithful" (Tattoos, 168). These words ring true as I continue muddling to be faithful and to act in a way of showing God's love. 

Naturally, I'd love to be successful--for my students to acheive great things because of something I said or did, for my neighbors to break the cycle of poverty because of my example. But all I can do is continue to try to be God's love and hope each moment that I am with them in order to show their potential. I can be this to my students, my neighbors like Samuel or Luis, who moved in with his dad looking for love but is receiving nothing but neglect from him--that he may realize he deserves the best and that he does not follow in his father's footsteps. For Jules and Liz when they're having a bad day. Even for myself--when I am struggling or down, I am brought back up mostly due to those around me and fill me up with their love, but also by trying to find God's love within me and the grace/joy all around me.

Am I succeeding here? Maybe not by the standard American definition, but by God's measure, I think so. Of course, I stumble and fall short of being love often, but I am comforted knowing that these relationships I am building are real and that even after this year, no one can rob me of these beautiful friendships.

Until nextl next time, paz y amor.

Living in the Present Moment

"There's a reason they call God a presence--because God is right here, right now. In the present is the only place to find Him, and now is the only time." --Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love


The time has come for yet another blog post. I have a few stories to share with you, and there are just a handful of present moments where God has been obvious. In reality, the stories and moments have been too many to count, let alone share, but I hope these will suffice.


For the past month plus, I've been wanting to visit Elsa again. Elsa is an extremely poor invasion community about a 20 minute walk from our house. We have some friends that live out there, including one of my favorite families. Yet unfortunately, I wasn't able to go until about a week and a half ago (the 22nd), but it was well worth the wait. The family we visited lives in complete poverty, but their joy and energy never cease to amaze me.  Even playing jenga with 9 pieces or a free toothpaste game excited them more than almost anything could excite me. Their ability to fill me up with love--with God--is astonishing. Those kids are incredibly special, and what makes it better is that their mom wants a better life for them--better education than what they're receiving, better health care, everything. I feel lucky to share in the struggles and joys faced by this particular family, and only hope I can visit more often.


The same day, I went to the Anitas' house (the mom and 2 girls, 16 and 8, are all named Anita, and they are awesome). I was just hanging out when one girl brings out the 16 year old's shoes. Naturally, I try on a pair of really run heels (we're the same size). Little Anita wanted a picture, and after finding the camera, a dress was shoved into my arms. I guess the clothes I had on just weren't good enough. I changed into the dress and heels, walked out, and after some ooos and aaahhs and photos, was then given 3 more dresses to try on and model. They were loving it, and I was also having a lot of fun in the moment, while also wondering what was going on. At the end, the mom decided to give me one of the dresses--something that looks like a sexy 80's little black dress. She told me to take a picture of me and my family in the dress when I'm back home and send it to her, and to remember her whenever I wear it. I was flabberghasted. I've been gifted some pretty crazy things here, but they almost all have to do with food--ice cream, yogurt, buckets of fruit, barretts. I still don't know my complete reaction, but I'm touched by her generosity and the generosity I receive every day.


A medical group from the US was here last week, and while I personally had no affiliation, my housemate Liz helped them every day as part of her worksite. Since some of my mornings are free, I decided to go in on Monday to check it out. The team performed 25 surgeries on kids with bone problems from the hip down, and I witnessed parts of the first two--live, in the OR! One was correcting the hip of a 5 year old boy, and I saw the doctors cut the femur and drill a metal plate in. The other was correcting an 18 month's feet, since the ankle connected to the middle of the foot. I got to be mere feet away from the surgeries, which is something I can't imagine would ever happen back home. It was beautiful to know that these surgeries could easily change the lives of these kids, and while maybe I didn't help, witnessing was pretty incredible.


Last night, as you probably know, was Halloween. Here, that means practically nothing. "Dia del Oscuro" is hardly celebrated, but we wanted to do something fun for the kids in our neighborhood.  We threw a mini party that included caramel corn, cookies, homemade pumpkin pie, arts and crafts, and face painting. The neighbors loved it! The food was devoured, faces were painted with ghosts, pumpkins, and moustaches (which one of those does not belong...), and before you know it, it turned into a full on paint war. At this point, it was just the 3 of us and about 10 kids. I ended up being covered head to toe in paint, especially my face and arms, of whatever color they could find. We may have started neighborhood vendettas, but...it's all fun and games, right? Probably my best Halloween yet, and it was pure chaos.


Those are some of the big moments where God has been clearly present in the last few weeks, but (s)he has been everywhere. Particularly when I look back, I am amazed by "the quiet miracles that seek no attention" (John O Donohue). I realize the greatness of God in my small daily interactions and I am humbled. Humbled that God is so vast, so loving, so good. Humled that I can partake in God's story, that I can be the body of Christ. I'm not saying that I'm a perfect body, but I am humbled by the power of the Spirit and that I have the ability to act as the living Christ at all. I am humbled by the generosity of the people around me, by the love from kids who have received such little love, by families who do anything to make a good life for their kids. In all of this I see Christ, and by all of this I realize that God is a presence. God is here, in us, right now, working constantly through people's goodness. I don't want to romantacize anything because clearly we are all human, and in some people it is difficult to see Christ. But that doesn't mean the Spirit isn't acting in some way, whispering to us, pushing us to choose love. So that's what I'm doing--trying to listen and choose love every moment that I can.


Until next time, paz y amor.

Building a New World

Long ago, I promised to write a blog detailing more about my worksite. I figured I would wait until I got more into it to explain it, so, roughly 6 weeks in, here I go.


My main work site is at a school called Nuevo Mundo. This is a school designed to help poor children receive good education by also providing education to the rich families here. The rich kids go in the morning to a bilingual school, and it's probably the best school in the Guayaquil area for them. It's a K-12 school, and the high school has a very rigorous IB program, which, as you can imagine, opens a lot of doors for people living here. 


The afternoon school is still the best considering where else really poor families can send their children--as in here, a public school, or a similar set up at a not as good private school--but it's unfortunately not as good as the morning school. It's not bilingual since it's only class in English is English, and they learn it at a much slower rate. There are not as many resources and opportunities available to them, but it's still a lot better than what they would otherwise receive. It used to be a K-12, as well, but not enough people stayed on through high school, so they had to close down the high school option a few years ago. The reason being is that the criteria to stay here is fairly rigorous. The students must average a 16.5 out of 20 (the Ecua grading scale) at the end of the year, and if they don't, they very well may be out. A lot depends on the support of the family and what is going on externally in the child's life, but they do need to maintain pretty good grades. Something that is cool about this school is that it provides services to the children and their families outside of only education, like counseling or helping the parents find jobs (I think). They try to ensure the parents' involvement by having them come in once every few months to help cook, clean, etc, sicne they realize children learn much better if the parents are there supporting them.


If a student does particularly well in the afternoon school, they have the opportunity to go to the morning school for high school as a becado, or scholarship kid. There are 10 spots open to this, but all have never been filled--instead, there are usually around 5. Catching up to the morning school kids can be hard, especially since classes like history are taught in English and these students may still have a lot to learn. Yet we try to help with that. We tutor the becados in history, English, or whatever else they may need help with, and in the 'summer' months (January-March), we provide intensive tutoring sessions for the becados so that they can be as up to speed as possible. If they do well and try hard, they can graduate with an IB diploma, as one senior is hoping to do now. With this, they can probably even go to school in the US if they are determined enough, so it is truly an incredible opportunity that they are receiving.


On a day to day basis, I teach the novenos and decimos, which is the equivalent of 8th and 9th grade. Chris, the other Mundo volunteer, and I split these classes so that they aren't too big. I have 10 people in my novenos class and 15 in my decimos. I have the top half of the students for novenos, and the bottom for decimos (which unfortunately means none of my kids will be becados next year...breaks my heart. But here's hoping for the novenos!) I love my students so much--even though they can be crazy, particularly the novenos, they all try really hard and they fill me up with such joy. It can be really tough managing a classroom, and I definitely do not have it down,  but every day I learn and I do my best. And considering I never have even taken an education class before, I think I'm doing a pretty good job. Yes, I think it would be much easier had I studied education--especially in terms of fun ways to get them to learn--but a lot of them did fairly well on the last test so I'm happy for that!


So, there's a basic overview of my main job here at Mundo. Since this school is in the afternoon, my mornings are fairly free. Yet 3 days a week, I do something else associated with Nuevo Mundo. In addition to this school, they also run a guarderia, clinic, and a homework room. No, I don't work in the guarderia (preschool), although it is literally right below my house--on the same property and right out my window. But I do get to hear the kiddies screaming and singing almost every day, so that can bring me both pleasure and pain. 


However, one day a week, I monitor the homework room in Arbolito (the other neighborhood where we have an RdC house). While this sounds easy and tranquil, I can assure you, it can actually be stressful and hectic. At times, it's rather boring, but I swear those kids load up on sugar before they come. They're supposed to do their homework, but instead they run around, yell, and throw things most of the time...talk about trying my patience. So, not always my cup of tea, but I know that the kids need a good place to do their homework, get help from me, and even run around freely with their friends.


Tuesdays and Thursdays, I also teach English classes in the clinic, which happens to be next door to our house. I teach the employees, which is a lot of fun. Some have learned English or even have lived in the US, some have never taken it before, and a lot know at least a few phrases and concepts. It can be tough since they're all at different levels, but I'm starting with the basics and working from there. For instance, we learned the alphabet the other day, and naturally made everyone sing the song (and the average age is probably 35). I love doing this because it is so different and because the staff are all incredibly nice to me, so it brings me a lot of joy.


Mondays, Fridays, and for a few hours before class Tuesdays and Thursdays, I have time to be in the neighborhood. Some of this time I will take for myself--whether planning, with God, or relaxing after a crazy week--but I try to get out and go to neighbor's houses as much as possible. For example, yesterday before my clinic class, I went to a neighbor's house that I had yet to meet and sat with her for about 45 minutes which was a good challenge but proved beautiful, and then went to one of my favorite neighbor's house to sit and chat with her for the 30 minutes before my class at 10:30. When class ended an hour later, I went to a family's house that lives across the street, was served lunch by them, and took part in the craziness there (there are a lot of kids, and I love them all to death). After that, it was time for me to change and go to Mundo! There I teach, tutor, plan, and hang out either until 4 or 7 when I take a bus home!


So there's a typical day in the life, as far as work sites is concerned. Sorry this is so long, I thought it would be shorter! But now you have more insight into what I do.
I think my next blog will be more reflective, but I figured this would be easy to get out now. So, I hope you enjoyed this, and until next time, paz y amor.

Slow Work

I know it has been a few weeks since my last blog, and for that I apologize. I know you've been eagerly anticipating an update, checking this daily to know what's going on in my life. And the answer...a lot. Clearly, I can't write about everything, but I'll choose some of the important facts.


God seems to work in very unexpected ways. We've been using the phrase 'trust in the slow work of God' around our house quite frequently--a quote, of course, from Greg Boyle's Tattoos on the Heart. Sometimes, I've questioned where God is and what His/Her plans are for us, and I just have to trust that God is somehow guiding us.


For instance, remember my awesome community? I was blessed by living with three amazing girls, each who have inspired me in countless way. Yet about a month ago, one of my community mates, Brittany, stopped sleeping. And when I say this, I mean she could only sleep one or two hours a night, nada más. As you can imagine, it would be quite hard to fully function on this little sleep. In my opinion, Britt functioned on a much higher level than I could ever imagine. She still went to work every day, brought joy and energy into the kids' lives, and was a stellar contributor to our community. None of us, including Britt, knew why she wasn't sleeping, and we were all quite frustrated. She tried different methods and attempted a few doctors visits here, none of which gave her more than a Xanex, which did not solve her sleeping problems. So, we unfortunately resorted to the last thing any of us wanted--she went home, for reasons of her own health. We hated watching her so exhausted all of the time, but what can I do but trust that, somewhere in there, God is working? He might have some sort of reason for this happening, of which I cannot even fathom. But trust in the slow work of God, that He has a reason for Britt's coming and going.


Trust in the slow work of God. It's hard to trust in something we're all so sad about, especially when I feel guilty that I didn't do everything I could have to help her here. Trust in the slow work, that she will find her reason for being home and understand why this happened. Trust in the slow work, that God will help our community--now just me, Jules, and Liz--bond, unite, and find infinite love and strength from each other.


Trusting in God's slow work in all aspects of my life--that's what I'm trying to do. That I trust that God will give me the tools needed to be the best community mate possible, to be an effective teacher, to be present to those around me. These things are tough, but I need to trust that God has me here, in my house, teaching at Nuevo Mundo, for a reason.


There have been a lot of very humbling times, times I can only say poco a poco and hope that God will work in me. This includes learning how to be a good teacher, which is quite difficult without any sort of training, or speaking Spanish, which can sometimes be good but usually frustrating. However, poco a poco. Poco a poco I'm learning to be with my neighbors and not worry about needing to say or do anything. I can instead just join them in their relaxed way of life and be.  Something that helped with this was going to Pedro Carbo last weekend, a town about an hour and a half away. I went with Molly, another Rostro volunteer, and a family from her neighborhood that is just incredible. There, we didn't really do much.  We spent Saturday and Sunday just sitting, relaxing, talking, being. This was weird for us, since we're both used to doing things, but it helped me to understand that this is Ecuador. (Of course, when we wanted to do nothing but sleep, there was dancing until 6:30 in the morning, but asi es la vida. We ended up sleeping what felt like in the middle of a discoteca since music was blaring every hour we slept, but eso es.) When I go to someone's house, I don't have to be entertaining, I can just join in their usual day and occasionally be a new voice. It's nice to know that I don't always need to do, but instead trust that God is slowly working in me.


So, slow work--theme of my life recently.  God works in such mysterious ways, and ways that usually aren't obvious. But I already trust that I'm supposed to be here, and therefore need to trust, even when it involves a leap of faith, that God is doing exactly what He wants to be doing in us every moment of the day.

Notes on Surviving my First Month and my First Week

As portrayed by the title, this blog is about a lot of firsts. Thursday, September 1st marked our one month anniversary of being here in Ecuador. And last Friday commemorated my first week being a teaching. So clearly, a lot is going on.


Some firsts that have happened in the past week of teaching and the past month here:

• The first time teaching a class (and the first time feeling sense of accomplishment doing so!)
• The first time eating at an Ecuadorian's house (which is now a fairly common occurrence...and delicious!)
• The first time watching two community mates perform with an Ecuadorian band at a concert in downtown Guayaquil
• The first time seeing a reggaeton artist live and also having a major gringo dance party to him
• The first time cleaning the cistern (just about as fun as it sounds...)
• The first time feeling like I helped my students understand a new concept
• The first time making a delicious and satisfying dinner for four for under $3
• The first time realizing that Jesus was a man with others, not for, and that's what I should strive to be
• The first time feeling truly at home outside of Indy and Fairfield
• The first time holding a two week old baby since fourteen years ago
• The first time entering into a stranger's house only to have a two hour conversation and leave feeling like friends
• The first time living on less than $20/week and feeling blessed and privileged to do so
• The first time wondering if the love I give to a kid is all he or she might receive that day
• The first time I have witnessed not only the injustices my neighbors face every day, but also how we as gringos living there can sometimes only hurt more than help
• The first time doubting if Rostro de Cristo is truly being the face of Christ
• The first time realizing that the only way I can help is by being an example of love to each individual I encounter and that I can't worry about the long term, I can only do my best in each moment.

There are so many other firsts that have happened, but that would just be insanely long. However, I have felt so blessed to have the opportunities to teach English and to visit and try to spread joy to my neighbors. They, of course, have filled me up with so much joy and love already. Just imagine what it will be like when I have real, solid friendships with some of them!

I know that some of this sounded negative, but don't worry. We've had some rough times as our community trying to realize what our purpose is here and how we can do more good than harm, but it seems pretty tough. However, I am trusting in God that I am here for a reason and that He has His plan for all of us as the year unfolds.

Until next time, paz y amor

Tuesday and Some Thoughts

Why hello!
I realize you must be in complete shock because I blogged the other day, but I have some things on my mind that I really want to share with you, namely, about Tuesday and some other thoughts.


So first, Tuesday. I finally got my first dose of "me" time since arrival.  I slept in until 9:30 (which is unheard of here, 8:00 is thought of as sleeping in), and my housemates were getting their IDs in Guayaquil, so I just read, cleaned, and decorated--it was great.  I also went out to get some food, and on the way, I stopped by a neighbor´s, Freddy´s, house, and met his wife Reina.  I got food to make lunch at Carmen´s, a lady I haven´t talked to much but I can tell she has a huge heart.  She even threw in two manderines for me!  I also stopped by the panaderia to get some bread and then our usual place for pineapple.  I felt so comfortable walking around our neighborhood, greeting people with a buenos dias, and just smiling.
When the roomies came back, Liz and I decided to try a workout DVD (shocking, I know)  and did some kickboxing and power yoga.  It was fairly amusing, especially for Brittany and Julia, who got to watch us and laugh. After the workout, we had a pretty hilarious lunch (due to conversation, not food).  Soon enough, it was time for me and Liz to go to Valdivial. Valdivia is one of the after school programs Rostro runs, and this one is in our neighborhood.  Everyone in Duran except the Mundo teachers have a permanent placement in one of the ASPs, but until classes begin, I´ll be helping out.  I was at first excited to not do this every day, but as I go, I get increasinly upset because these kids are so cute!  It´s impossible not to see God in their beauty, innocence, love, and an occasional rough outer shell.  Sure, things get crazy, but I still love being with the kids and emanating in their joy.  Tuesday, Liz and I ran the activity and made complete fools out of ourselves by dancing for everyone, but they seemed to like it!  I also jumped rope with some girls, struggled to learn names, and butchered Spanish, and enjoyed myself entirely.
On our way back home, I introduced Liz to Freddy and we were there for awhile, still massacring Spanish, but also talking about life.  He thinks that since I studied religion, I´ll be a nun, but I tried to tell him that no, that is not gonna happen.  We also went to Gabriel´s house, a grandfatherly figure who always gives us cokes and life lessons.  When we came back, Jules and Britt were cooking up a storm, and in no time we had a delicious dinner.  That night, we had our first spirituality night (one a week, we will have both a spirituality night and a community night, along with daily prayer).  It kicked ass.  Britt led it, and it was a beautiful time where we shared our faith, our darknesses, and our lights.  These girls continue to amaze me, and I still have so much to learn!


So now it´s time for "some thoughts" section, that while incomplete, are things that have been coming up here.  I´d love to know your thoughts on these!!
-We´re all made by the Creator with unique gifts.  Yet sometimes, we don´t even know what those gifts are or how we can best use them.  That´s where community comes in.  Others may be able to point out our gifts in ways we could never have known, and not only that, but they can bring out our gifts.  It is up to us as humans to ignite others to their fullest selves and to extrapolate others´gifts when they are buried.  We discover who we are and who God is in community, and in that sacred place, we can make others whole.
-(This comes from reading Tattoos on the Heart by Gregory Boyle SJ, and while I´m only on chapter 2, it´s my new favorite book and EVERYONE should read it!).  God created us, and therefore we are perfect in his mind.  God sees us as firme, or "could not be one bit better."  As humans, we tend to dwell on our imperfections and our since, but God cannot stop staring and smiling at His (or Her) creations.  God sees all the goodness He´s instilled in us--He can see our best selves, even when we cannot see it or act it.  God loves us just as we are unconditionally.  He sees the perfection of His creation in us, and we are exactlywho He wants us to be at this moment--we could not be one bit better, for this is how God loves us and made us, just as it.  Even though we all need to grow, God loves us and can only see the beauty He created.  We are beloved.  How cool is that?


This last part is still something I struggle with and am thinking about a lot, but I think it´s so beautiful and powerful.  So sit on these and let me know what you think.
Until next time, paz y amor.

Orientation Madness

Hey World!
Sorry I´ve been MIA for the past month, this whole orientation thing has kept me busy.  So while I´d love to include everything that has happened, for the sake of your eyes and my budget, I won´t do that. Instead, I´ll give you a few highlights.


Boston Orientation
1. Finding out my house. We were kept waiting in mystery for the first week of orientation as to where we were living and with whom.  Naturally, I was incredibly nervous to find out, but when they called my house, I was flooded with relief and happiness. Not that there´s any of the 16 volunteers I´d be mad if I got them in my house, but just knowing made it so much better. I will be living in AJS, or Antonio Jose de Sucre, a neighborhood in Duran where I stayed as a retreatant. I am in the smallest house of 4 people, and also the only all girls house. I will be living with Julia, who´s from the Philly area and went to University of Scranton, Liz, who´s from Long Island and went to John Carroll, and Brittany, who´s also from Long Island (I can´t escape the Long Islanders! Part of my life now), and went to Manhattan. These are girls I clicked with instantly and have always been able to be myself around, so I´m really excited to see how the year goes with 3 great girls!
2. Being with the JVC group. JVC International volunteers were also with us for orientation, and they offered great light and insight, and were a ton of fun to be around. It was sad to leave some new friends!
3. Silent retreat. During the 2 weeks, we had a lot thrown at us, from talks and sessions to being constantly surrounded by people. The silent retreat at the end was a great chance to unwind and process everything, as well as have some quality God time before departing. I did a lot of journaling, reflecting, and relaxing. Yet what I was most surprised by was how much fun I had. Even in silence, we found a way to be goofy and let go, such as piano recitals and dancing in the rain.


Ecuador Orientation
1. Meeting neighbors. A huge part of this year is being with people and not doing, and we have started that by hanging out with neighbors. I have found everyone hospitable, loving, and generous, even though they don´t usually have much to give. So many have given us food and drink )which we have to take even when we don´t want it!) and have been open about their own lives. The other night, as a welcome dinner for us and a goodbye dinner for the old volunteers, Wellington (one of the guards who lives next door and is awesome) and Soraya (his wide, a sweetheart) cooked us a huge lasagna dinner. Their three kids and some neighborhood friends were also in attendance, and it made me feel incredibly welcomed into the community.
2. The old volunteers. While most just left, they have been here and have been a great resource for us--so helpful! They have showed us the ropes concerning living in community, introducing us to people, helping us with our jobs, and much more. Seeing how much they have grown gives me hope for me in one year.
3. Last Saturday, we went to mass in Mt. Sinai (an invasion community on the other side of Guayaquil from Duran, where I am) so that we could visit the volunteers there and get to know their community. The mass at Santa Teresa on Saturday night was one of the most beautiful experiences I´ve had. In the beginning, I met a girl named Gabriela, and I could tell immediately she was special. This was the last mass for the old volunteers, so the whole thing was especially emotional. During peace (which was akin to Loyola´s peace--that huggs and long), she came up to me and hugged me for at least five minutes, neither of us letting go. I literally felt like I was holding Jesus--she was crying, vulnerable, scared, sad, yet grabbing onto hope and trusting that it will be ok. Her beauty amazes me and I know I will never forget it.
4. The beach! As a surprise after a hard few weeks, Megan (the in country director) took us to the beach Thursday, which was the perfect way to unwind, relax, and reenergize.
5. Moving in. After nearly one month of living out of a suitcase, we finally moved into our house on Saturday. Unfortunately, this meant doing a mega clean of Arbolito, another volunteer house, which was at least fifty times more disgusting than the dirtiest frat house you´ve ever seen...but at least it´s clean now! Our house is adorable, perfect for the 4 of us. I love it so much and I can´t wait to make it our home.
6. Finding out my job placement. The first week, we were busy visiting all the job sites, and Tuesday we officially decided where we will each be. I will be an English teacher for the afternoon school at Nuevo Mundo, a great school in Guayaquil for rich kids in the morning and kids who can´t afford school in the afternoon. I´ll be teaching 2 classes a day to the US equivalent of 8th and 9th graders, and working in the community in the morning. I´m nervous to start but curious as to what´s in store for me!


I promise to write more about my community and worksite soon--those are 2 things I want to spend time on and give you enough information about, so be patient and know that it will come! In the mean time, paz y amor!

Fears, Expectations, and Explanations

Hi, world!


If you're reading this, it must mean one of two things: you are excited for my every moment of my year in Ecuador and want to live vicariously through me, or you are nervous for my year abroad and read this to ensure I am alive. Either way, welcome!
As entitled, I'm writing this blog before I leave in order to explain what my program is and what my hopes and fears are. However, we're going to move backward, I just think the title flows better this way.

Explanations:

Rostro de Cristo (RdC) is a Catholic program that focuses on building relationships in a faith filled environment. It works in Guayaquil, Ecuador (including surrounding areas such as the suburb Duran). Guayaquil is a city of few "haves" and many "have nots." The areas in which the volunteers live are Arbolito and Antonio Jose de Sucre (AJS) in Duran as well as Mt. Sinai. Each location is unique in its environment and story, but they each were founded by Ecuadorians from the plains, mountains, etc who wanted to move to the city to advance opportunities. Communities would go into open land and build houses out of whatever they could find. The government has tried to get rid of them, but each time, they have proved resilient until they are given the legal right to live there. AJS is the most advanced, and Mt. Sinai is the least developed. In fact, this is only RdC's second year to have a house there. I still do not know where I will be living or with whom, but I should be finding this out shortly!
The pillars of RdC are faith, community, simple living, social justice, and hospitality. Throughout the year, I will be challenged to live a lifestyle according to there tenants. Literally translating into "Face of Christ," Rostro de Cristo seeks to find Christ in every person: in their stories, joys, and struggles. It works with the Ecuadorian people in solidarity in order to find long term solutions to the poverty and other problems in the area. It desires real change, not just charity.


Expectations:

I am coming into this year of service trying not to have too many expectations. However, there are a few I'd like to mention:

1. To deepen my faith with God and to better see the beauty of Christ in every person.

2. To permanently change my lifestyle to "living simply" and realize that stuff is not what defines a person.

3. To greatly improve my Spanish to the level of near fluency.

4. To make lifelong friends both with my fellow volunteers and with Ecuadorians.

5. To erase any ignorance regarding Ecuador, Latin America, developing countries, poverty, etc.

6. To learn a lot about myself, my values, my faith, and a new culture.


Fears:

This year is going to be extremely different from anything I have encountered before. So naturally, I am fearful about what is in store for me and the trying times ahead. In no particular order, some include:

1. Leaving my friends, family, and especially Eric for 13 months. This part seems crazy to me--why would I want to do this?!?

2. Not being able to communicate well because of my lack of practicing Spanish.

3. Changing so much in this year that it will be difficult to relate to the people I love when I come back and feeling like I do not belong.


Well, that's all for this blog! Orientation starts on Monday the 18th at Boston College, and then we will all leave together on August 1st for Ecuador! I can't believe it's really happening! I hope you enjoy reading my blog and I cannot wait to see what this year has in store for me.